There's a Devil in My Car!!!

Hi folks -- Back in Ohio and trying to get my life in order after seven weeks in Germany. One big problem is getting my Porsche running properly, after several bad episodes with a distributor rotor that kept crashing into the cap. OK, so the diagnosis appears to be bad distributor bushings, and the remedy is to send the distributor out to Jerry Woods in California for a rebuild and a re-curve. My friend Cliff tried to get the car running with the rebuilt distributor while I was gone, but to no avail the car awaited my gentle touch last week upon return from Leipzig. So the last 5 days I have spent my free time trying to set the timing and get the distributor to distribute the spark properly to the spark plugs. My best efforts have resulted in the car running well at idle, but once under load the car bogs down, and it accelerates unevenly. The plugs seem to be carbon fouled, or at least characterized as having carbon deposits on them. So not enough spark it seems.

So there is a devil in my car. I used to call my car Lazarus because I raised it from the dead, but now I have renamed it Legion, for the many evil spirits that are in it. There was a great song in the early 1980s by one of my favorite groups, the B-52s, entitled "Devil in my Car."

HELP! The devil's in my car.
HELP! The devil's in my car.
HELP! The devil's in my car.
Ho, devil's in my car, whoa please
PLEASE! Leave me alone!

We're really tearin' tar.
We're goin' 90 miles an hour.
Ho! He's drivin' me crazy.
He's drivin' me to Hell now.

He's pointing his pitchfork at me.
He's in the front seat of my car!
He's taking over!
Oo, he ripped my upholstry.
He's at the wheel,
HELP! The devil's in my car.
HELP! He's drivin' too far.

(scream!) Ooooooh!

Whoooa!

I can't lock the door,
I can't put on my safety belt.
There's nothing for me to do but yell HELP!
Devil's in my car!
I'm goin' to Hell in my old Chevrolet,
I don't know which way.
Oh, HELP! Devil's in my car!
Yeah, yeah. He's gone too far.
I won't see ya tomorrow.
I won't see ya anymore.
He's got his cloven hoof on the clutch.
Oh! Ow! I'm sitting on his tail.

Oh-Ohh, I don't wanna go to Hell.
(I don't wanna go to the devil.)
He's in my car, in my car, in my car.

Ohhhh-waaaaahhh!

The radio gives me static,
there's nothing on my CB.
Oh, HELP! the devil's in my car.
Oh, he's in my car. He's in my car.
The devil's in my car.
We're turning off the road.
Oh! Where ya taking me devil?
Oh! He's grinning door to door.
He's got his cloven hoof on the clutch.
HELP ME!
Oh, I don't wanna go to Hell.
(I don't wanna go to the devil.)
He's in my car.

Freeway to Hell.
We're burning up the road.
Freeway to Hell. (Right through the tollbooth)
We're burning up the road.
Freeway to Hell. (Right through the guardrail)
We're burning up the road.
Freeway to Hell. (Across the median)
We're burning up the road.
Freeway to Hell. (Would you slow down?)
We're burning up the road.

I've got the devil juice in my CARburater!
I've got the devil in my cigarette lighter.
I don't need no battery (I got the devil in my car).
In my car. In my car-oh!
In my car
In my car
In my car
In my car
In my car

Clearly, there are devils in my car!